Dear CB,

We haven’t seen each other in a long time. When we finally did bump in to each other, I was in shock, I was unstable. I was scared and was shaking in fear.

Life for me at the moment is going good. So when you popped back up, it made me remember. I do have regrets in life. Life was teasing me, shaking something in front of my face, telling me that I had missed opportunities.

You are the biggest regret in my life. I regretted not ever knowing what your favorite color is. Who your role models are, what your dreams and goals are in life. I regret not knowing who your favorite actress and singer is so that I could get jealous over it.

Back in my school years, I did not have the best of knowledge about boys. I thought I did, but I didn’t. In my younger days, I was traumatized from experiences I had with boys. I was teased by boys since elementary. Ever since then, I never knew if boys were teasing me or trying to give me hints.

I believe that you changed everything for me. It was from you that I opened up my eyes and realized that people might actually like me. The first boy to learn how to say ‘I love you’ in my native language. The first boy to offer me anything from the dollar menu from McDonalds. The first boy to flirt with me.

But I was so stupid. My choices made without thought. I was so caught up in the actions around me. Believing that I may end up like everyone else. So I gave you a bullshit answer on why we couldn’t go out. It was the biggest regret of my life.

I know better now. Even though I am scared to get hurt, the hurt would be worth it for all the beautiful memories. In the end, I should never compare my life to others. I am my own person, who can do things to change an outcome if I wish. I wish I could have the courage to find you and tell you this, but I may just be another girl to you now…

There is nothing else but wishes of happiness for you. I hope you find the one who will give you everything you could ever expect. I hope you have the best of your life, because after everything I put you through, you deserve it.

Sincerely, LY