My family makes me mad. Which is kind of childish but when it deals with my personal life
of happiness than it is a big deal.

This does not have to do with my parents or my siblings. They are a different story which I
have yet to write out.

My aunts, uncles, and cousins. All of them drive me up the wall. The last time all of us
saw each other we all left on a bad note. Everybody went their own ways with no
intentions of fixing things up with the people who they twisted.

I’m not sure how everybody else did after those events but it left me in a dark hole. So
dark I could not see any light. Of course I don’t live that way anymore, but
there is still a veil to reminding me of what passed and can never be healed.

It’s been almost over two years now, which should make the situation better and less
annoying. Time heals and I feel ready for another family reunion where things
can go well. I want it to happen, because despite all the horrible things in
the past, I miss those idiots.

I feel as if even though I try to make progress to overcome my fears there are still those
who are clinging on to the past. Which has become apparent to me after these
past few weeks.

The family in question. I love them to death and truth be told they stuck with me through all
my hard times. I never made them uncomfortable though and made sure they had a
way out when others were being uncontrollable.

At this moment I cannot help but be uncomfortable in the position they are putting me
in. My cousin is getting married, to someone who is not Hmong, so I assume they
will be doing a formal American wedding. I am happy for her and her decisions.

But…

Here it is. The big deal breaker for me. They must need phone numbers to contact family
members to tell them of the news. Plus on top of that, needing addresses to
send out invites.

I can understand. BUT! Do they have to ask me for addresses and phone numbers which
do not belong to me?

Is the internet not right there in the face? Is Facebook not working on their computer? Are my
cousins not able to write a simple letter to the certain people they want to
contact?

Is it so hard to overcome this hate for a happy situation?

I may be putting things out of content. Seriously though…

Why do they have to make it harder than it seems to ask for those things? We are all family
and should accept family requiring that information at times. But get those
information from the person in question themselves and not from someone else.

I seriously had to go and ask the family members myself for their info for my cousin…
Which is what got me mad. Something so simple but they make it so hard and have
to nag me for.

I gave them all the info the first time and they had to lose it. Hence asking me a second
time. Why is it they don’t learn from their mistakes…?

When family ask of me for my own information I give it to them freely. Sure I would wonder
but I give them full confidence to not use it against me.

No more of this. I am done with it. I will continue my silence for my own happiness.