Category Archives: Fiction

A Little Something I Wanted to Share

I wrote this to a friend and thought it would be cool to post it here. I do mention references to my story I am writing, which is what sparked this conversation.

Have a little of my past 🙂

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Personally, why I don’t agree to forced marriage and fear it, is because I don’t want to lose my freedom. I had to struggle just to be the person that I am right now. When I was growing up, I was “the pretty one with white skin” that all the old ladies doted on. I grew up with expectations to do well, to marry well, and to have a good looking boyfriend/husband, all because the fact of me having “a pretty face.”
I was basically told what to expect out of life. But having all these words thrown at me didn’t make my feel any better. My sisters, and cousins had to witness it too. They were being compared to me, but I didn’t like to be the china doll that everyone showed off. Honestly, as a young girl, I didn’t think there was much about me that was charming. I blinked too much, I was empty minded, and filled with
imaginations.
It should have made me a bitch, and maybe it did, but since I was so different, I secluded myself. I didn’t want to stand out as “the pretty one.” It got to the point that if any guy talked to me, I would turn my back to them, honestly I was an ice princess during my middle and high school years. It was something that I never noticed till just last year..
I never allowed myself to grow to my full potential, I was scared to be ‘me’. So while I still worked hard, I pulled back in the department of social skills and love life.
For awhile I did find ‘me’, and I thought I was finally going to go somewhere in life, but things aren’t always that dandy and great. I had a conflict with my sisters. I had other life ambitions and they were worried about their love lives. We weren’t seeing eye to eye in anything. They were the closes people to me in my family, and in matter of months we hated each other with a passion…
But they were still my family, and with time we slowly became family again, but never as close as we once were.
I still lost myself though, and I was lost for so long too. I closed myself off again. My best friend could see it, but she didn’t know how to deal with it. She didn’t know what I had to grow up with. For years I would put on a mask with a smile, but I was basically dying on the inside.
It was just two years ago that I started on my life journey to be happy and to be ‘me’. I feel like I took three big steps in my life. If I were to be married, I would be taking four steps back.
Plus, I tend to think that my dreams carry heavy messages that I am afraid to admit, and I had dreams about forced marriages. Maybe it was due to the fact that I was thinking consistently about my story, but it showed me what my darkest fears were about forced marriage. People kept trying to get into my bubble, trying to control everything for me. Just like Luna, everyone was making mistakes for her and she had to deal with the mess. Nobody would let me grow as a person, and nothing would be mine anymore.
That is another thing, while growing up, my sister’s would claim things as theirs and I would step back and let them. I had nothing to claim as mine. Now that I do have something that is mine, I am scared that someone is going to take it away from me.
And yeah, I lost a lot of my sisters while I was young. They were never really sister figures though, or at least I felt like they never were. They never tried to understand me as a human being, even though I tried with every last tear to understand what was going on in their minds. I tried so hard with my younger sisters too, and it only left me hurt even more. I love them to pieces, but no one really understands me.. So yea, I do have a silent promise with myself to not let my younger sisters go through what I went through when all my married sisters left. Because honestly, when my family was already under scrutiny, it hurt that my sisters were finding love and I was stuck to deal with all the drama and gossip.
Rather than focusing on others, my main goal in life is to focus on me. As greedy as that sounds, it’s something that I owe to myself, to my kid self who worried too much about what other’s thought about themselves and about me.
When I write a stories, my characters are their own people, but I tend to leave a bit of me with my them. And that may seem greedy too, but I can’t help but leave part of myself in places that my family would never think to look.
I can’t seem to make my stories short…. I had to share my whole life story… (and why would i share my whole life story? i don’t fear my flaws or horrible past.)

Fool’s Paradise 01. My Other Self

Lily was on her way home after a long day of exercising. During the drive, she remembered the tar job being done on the driveway her dad was doing earlier that day. To make sure she wouldn’t disturb it drying, she decides to call her sister to check on the status of the tar.

“How far is the tar done?” Lily asked the moment Shina picked up.

Shina replies, “It’s all done. We finished it a while ago.”

“Okay, do you know how I should get into the parking lot? Did mom and dad say?” Lily asked, nearing the house.

“Yea, dad talked to the neighbor and we can use their drive way to get into the back.”

Lily felt relieved as she replied, “Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

Shina on the other line, went silent. “Shina? Did you hear me?”

When Lily’s sister did reply, she sounded scared, “But Lilith, didn’t you come home a while ago already? I was actually wondering why you called and not just come into the room…”

Lily’s mind was racing with all the possibilities, but to not scare her sister Lily replied, “You know what, I’m really tired, I’m sorry for calling out of nowhere. Just don’t worry about it.”

When she hears an unsure “Okay” from Shina, Lily hangs up. Speeding up a bit more, She hurries home to see what is waiting for her.

Both sisters knew each other well enough for Lily to know that Shina would call her bluff. Lily knew she was right as she pulled up to her house. Shina and their parents were outside, standing in a circle, on the porch, most likely whispering about the thing waiting for her.

Of course Shina told, she knew their parents would need to know what was going on. Lily just hoped the thing waiting for her didn’t know. Driving into the neighbor’s pathway, Lily goes over into their backyard parking area. Careful to not walk into the tar, Lily makes her way to the front of the house to join her family.

“Is Bae still inside?” Lily asks right away when she reaches them.

“Yes,” her father replies. “I’m sure he knows something is up, but he hasn’t said or done much yet.”

Lily nods, trying her best to seem nonchalant about it, like this was an everyday conversation, “Go shopping. We could use some stuff around the house.”

“What about you?” my mother has concern in her eyes, which Lily has not seen since they first found out about her abilities.

“I’ll be fine,” Lily say to her mother. I hope she thought to herself, Lily didn’t want them to worry. Her family had been waiting for this for a long time coming now and it was something they couldn’t shield her from.

Both her parents turned to head back in but she calls out to them, “Dad, Mom.” They stop in their tracks to look back, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, just do what you have to,” replies her father before they retreat back into the house to grab what they need and to inform her brother.

Lily notices that her sister is still standing there beside her. She didn’t want any of them to stay and they all knew it. “What are you still doing here? You should be getting ready to leave too.”

She watches as the shock fills Shina’s face. Only than does Lily realize she used too much force in her words and regrets it right away.

With a sigh Lily tell her, “Sorry. Just go, please.”

Shina leaves Lily standing there, out in the dark with nothing but her thoughts.

The memories start pouring back to her. Lily thinks of all those different times an elder or a gifted person came up to her.

She was 12 when her parents took the whole family to Chinatown, Chicago, for sightseeing and shopping. It was their first time walking that street. They must have gone back and forth 20 times that day, going in and out of different shops. It was midafternoon when it happened. An elderly Asian woman came up to Lily, while her family was walking on the sidewalk.

“You child, the things you will do when you grow up. Such great power, great but burdening powers,” the elder said to Lily with the saddest eyes she would never forget.

Lily’s parents didn’t think much of it, but they took a hold of their kids and they left those streets, and never did they go back. She remembered looking back to the little old lady just in time to see her disappear into thin air.

The little old lady was the first of many encounters. At times there would be people of all ages coming up to Lily, telling her the same thing, some who disappear without a trace.

There was the random guy at the grocery store trying to start up a conversation with her, earning her a drive home full of questions. The many weird encounters of her classmates finding her to be talking to nothing but thin air at school. All the events made her known to the whole school as weird, and Lily had to soon learn who was actually there or not.

It was starting to be a frequent thing every time Lilith left her house. Soon after these incidents, she never went out of the house, unless necessary. At a young age, Lily decided that she didn’t want to have to deal with outsiders anymore, and her parents reluctantly agreed to their daughter’s request.

Although she tried her best to avoid it, family elders were saying similar things to her. At family gatherings her gifted relatives would see her differently.

During the family’s New Year celebration, Lily was only 14 when things got serious. Her great grandpa was doing a blessing for the whole family. The entire clan on her dad’s side was over at her eldest uncle’s house, where her great grandpa lived.

Towards the end of the night, when all the families had left except for Lily’s, her great grandpa came up to her. Both families were in the living room, the parents chatting away, and the boys playing their games. Lily was sitting on the floor, in a circle of girls that consisted of Shina and their two cousins.

“Lily,” he called her over, “Come and have a talk with me and the parents.”

Lily wasn’t sure at the time what it was about, but she agreed to his request leaving the comfort of girl talk. Going towards the adults, she could see them quieting down as if they were expecting the talk beforehand. Sitting down on a foldable metal chair across from her parents, Lily looked towards her great grandpa who is sitting with his son, my grandpa. At the corner of her eye she could see the girls listening in on the conversation that was about to commence.

“You are aware of what journey lies for your daughter?” my great grandpa started, addressing her parents.

“Yes,” her dad responded taking a small glance at Lily, then looking back at his grandpa, “We’ve talked to some people, and have decided to come to you for advice. We are not sure why our daughter is chosen. But because she is already tied to that destiny, we would like to know what path to take to help her.”

“She will need a lot of help. We need to find the right people to train her.”

Lily’s dad showed no shock as he was expecting the answer he got from his grandpa. He quietly nods, “I’ve talked to a few friends and they are willing to help. I hope this will be enough for now, the rest she will have to do on her own in her own time.”

They were talking as if she was not there. It felt wrong, to be asked into this conversation but to be talked about as if she didn’t have any say or thought in the decision. When Lily spoke up, she let a little too much of her emotions show, a mix of anger, fear, and confusion, “What is going on? Why do I have to train, what am I training for?”

Lily did have an idea though. How could she not? She had seen and talked to people who weren’t really there. Not to her surprise, Lily is told what she would have to train for.

“To fight,” her great grandpa said finally, looking at her, “you have a gift, a horrible gift.”

“I know,” Lily responded. “They all tell me this, each and every spirit and human I’ve encountered always says that one sentence. I still don’t know what this gift is though.”

“Your gift,” he said with a pause, “is unknown to this world and may never be known. And because you are something different, you are in danger. You are able to see spirits, demons, evil, and in turn they are able to see you. To protect yourself, you have to learn as much as you can, as soon as you can. When the time comes, we are not going to be able to protect you anymore. It will come when least expected and there is no telling how things are going to be after. Prepare and live life that fate gave you.”

Lily sat there with no emotion, her life forever changed in that one moment. The dreams she had as a child are all shot down because destiny has other plans for her.

Seven years later, Lily is facing her first encounter. Just like Lily’s deceased great grandpa said, it came without warning. She is ready from the years of training, but her heart is still pounding, on the verge of jumping out.

Standing on the porch of her house, Lily looked into the open doorway, taking it all in on what was finally happening. Taking a breath, she makes her way into the house.

Lily feels it before going in. The presence it makes in the house is overwhelming. Taking calm steps into her home, she prepares her mind for what is to come. Lily’s older brother Bae is ready and waiting. She goes up to him and he gives her a hug.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” He whispers into her ear.

“If you stay, I’ll just be more worried,” Lily whispers back into his ear.

“It knows that you are here, so much for a surprise attack.”

She looks up at him in surprise, “You can feel it too?”

“Sis, you aren’t the only one who has spiritual powers. Although, I have to admit, yours’ is a lot stronger than mines, but we can talk about it later.”

Lily gave him one last squeeze and lets him go. Walking into the kitchen, she decided she wanted a glass of water.

Right before the kitchen on the left is the hallway into the bedrooms, and her room is the first on the right. Lily sees her parents and Shina coming down from their rooms, as they walk by her room they look at the closed door as if it was the spirit itself. She takes a glance at it too, kind of nervous and strangely excited at the same time. Lily gets her glass of water and follows them outside.

When they reach the front yard, Lily takes the first refreshing gulp of water. Looking at her family, she tells them to go, “I’ll be okay, you guys know. I’ll call you guys later.”

Lily takes another gulp as she watches them get into the car, and finish the whole cup as they drive away.

Taking a deep breath of the spring night breeze, Lily turns into her house, relieved that her family was out of the way. She closes the front door, leaving only the unknown spirit and herself alone in the house. It is quiet, and she takes it as a bad sign. As Lily sets the glass cup on the desk that is in the living room, she hears it, the sound of her bedroom door opening. Lily stands there, waiting, wearing heels, jeans, and a plain sapphire blue t-shirt.

Without blinking, Lily watches the spirit who disguised itself in her form walk into the living room. The spirit is without heels, not even wearing shoes at all, a white flowing skirt, and an almost similar top. Her black hair is overflowing, falling longer than Lily’s, it was clumped and greasy looking. The look on her face makes Lily shudder. She has a grin plastered on and she is glaring in Lily’s direction. Lily is shocked at how she makes her face looks, all the evil it conveyed. The spirit’s arms are swaying with no energy, and it seemed like it was taking all the energy to keep her head up.

“Little girl has been expecting Sem?” The spirit said in a hoarse man’s voice.

Lily is shocked but it soon goes away as all she could think at the moment is to get to her room. That is where her swords were kept, and they were the only things that would make the spirit disappear for good. Or at least that was supposed to do the job. Lily wasn’t sure about the theory. She was going to take a stab in the dark and fight this “Sem” without the swords first. Because, at the moment the thing standing in Lily’s way, to the sword, was the spirit.

“For a really long time now,” Lily replied, making small talk, “How exactly did you find me?”

He smiled at Lily, and in a proud smile he stated, “Sem was flying above and smelled you. Everyone was busy flying away, but not Sem. Sem came to take what Sem needs.”

Lily thought it would be hard, trying to kill a replica of her, but this look that Sem was giving her motivated her to get rid of him even more. Waiting for the spirit to come at Lily, he does, slowly like he needs to think about how to move his legs. Not keeping her guard down, Lily gets into a ready stance.

Sem stares Lily down as he makes his way to her. He takes his first step, but as he moved, it turned into five, and he made his way closer to Lily faster than she anticipated. Sem takes another step and is almost flying in her direction. Right before he makes contact with Lily, she had a surprise for Sem. Reaching into her back, hidden under her shirt, there is a dagger hidden, something Lily had been getting into the habit of doing for years. Bringing it forward with her right arm and swinging it at Sem, Lily hoped to get him in the gut, but Sem is quicker than he looks and dodges it before it makes contact.

Once Sem was out of the way, Lily is on the move, running around him, making her way to the archway leading into the hallway. She doesn’t make it far, only taking a few steps before she is slowed down. Her body wanted to move forward, but a force wouldn’t let her, as it brought her back. Lily looks back to see Sem with an outstretched hand. The pull on her doesn’t stop until she connects with Sem’s body. The outstretched hand wrapped itself around Lily’s chest and the other free hand pulled Lily’s head back as Sem grabbed a handful of her hair.

“How dare you try to run away from Sem,” he said into her ear.

Using her heels, Lily slammed it down on Sem’s unprotected feet. It was unexpected for him and he let out a howl as he threw her away. Lily was thrown to the floor, yet she knew she couldn’t stay down there for long, so she picked herself back up. Sem was swearing left and right as he jumped up and down from the pain.

She once again tried to get to her room but was unsuccessful as she was thrown across the room with a force. Lily was sure that Sem wasn’t even touched her at all. Crashing into the wall on her right, she falls down hard to the floor. Lily takes a moment, lying on the floor of her living room in shock of reality. Looking up, Lily searches for Sem, and her guess is correct, Sem is standing a few feet away from her, impossible for him to throw Lily. Sem looks over at Lily with that grinning glare as if it was too easy.

Getting to her feet, Lily swishes her hair that is falling down from its ponytail. Lily has a few scratches, but nothing she can’t handle.

“I guess I have to weaken you up a bit, huh?” Lily says to him, as she gets a good hold on her dagger. Lily takes stance, getting ready for another attack.

Sem is charging at Lily again as she talked to him.  Getting closer he looks as if he is ready to tear Lily’s body into two. Lily ducks down and drags her dagger through Sem’s left leg. He lets out an ear piercing scream in agony. His leg is covered in a dark substance and it is streaming from the cut Lily just gave him. Lily hoped it wouldn’t stain the carpet.

It was just a momentary win, as he uses the same leg to kick her in the face. Lily falls backward onto the carpet. Sem grabs her by her shirt and pulls her back up, he doesn’t even wait has he starts punching Lily in any place he can get. It was worse than being thrown against the wall. Every strike got heavier, leaving dark spots, Lily knew was going to show up later, all over her body.

I’m going to die. So much for my destiny, it only comes down to my first fight. I am a disappointment, and I put too much faith in myself.

In Lily’s lowest point of the fight, there was no way of pulling herself back. She intended to sit back and be overwon by this evil spirit. Her eyelids felt heavy and she allowed them to close as memories overcame her. All the people she would miss and the all the moments in her life she would never again experience.

The grip on her let go and Lily fell to the ground once more. There was no other choice than to lay there and let the process continue in Sem’s order. Her doppelganger stood above her and started to chant words unknown to Lily. Laying there she listened, but she soon heard another voice.

“You are stronger than this. There is still more for you. Get up and fight. There are times when you will fall down like tonight and days when it hurts even more than this, but you do have a choice. You have the choice to be better than anything you go up against. So you stand up right now and you kill this evil son of a bastard.”

She opened her eyes and looked for the source of the voice and found no body other than Sem, who was still chanting over her. For the first time since she started on this journey, Lily was finally feeling lighter than ever. From ten minutes ago when she was on the verge of dying, she was now feeling so alive.

While Sem was busy chanting, Lily takes her chance. There was no plan, just action, as she jumped up and stabs him deep in his body, right in the heart. Sem stops whatever he was saying as he stiffened up. Looking down at his new wound, Lily pulls out her dagger, letting sem’s black blood ooze out of his chest.

Sem looks up at Lily and back down at his wound, only to look up at Lily again. “Is this the best you can do?”

With his last sentence, Sem stumbles and fall backward. Lily watches him down on the floor, to see if there was any signs of breathing. She wondered if this was it. Was her first fight over that quickly? Was it so easy to kill this evil spirit?

Just as she was done convincing herself of the job done, Sem wakes up. With a startle, he takes in a deep breath, chest lifting up from the floor.

She doesn’t wait to see him get to his feet as she flees to her room. It was foolish to think it was easy to deal with.