Category Archives: Lucy

Deeper Than Just a Body Image

Recently I got my sixth and seventh ear piercings. I know it isn’t real big news, but to me it is. For a Hmong girl who is supposed to be a good girl, it is big.

When I got my first three piercings, other than my first “normal ones”, a lot of people were disappointed in me. At that time I could see why. I was supposed to be the good girl.

I still am a good girl. Compared to all of the other girls my age, I think I am doing pretty well. It’s not like I am out every night with my “gangster friends” (I have one best friend and she is the daughter of a very respected man in our town, she isn’t perfect, but compared to other girls, she is the best of the bunch), I don’t get shit face drunk every weekend, there is no cigarette hanging off my mouth, and I don’t even have a boyfriend.

I’ve come to realize that there is no reason to be disappointed in the way I want my body to look. I am not trying to impress them, I am not trying to impress boys, and I would not go that desperate for attention.

The earrings are there to represent things. Things I have overcome and the goals I have yet to reach. They have a reason and I don’t think I should have to explain them to anyone.

I want people to like me for me. Not for my body or what I do with my body. I want someone to notice how weird I am and still decide to stay by my side.

Honestly, these are not the last piercings I will be doing. I still have goals of at least three to five more. I’m sure more people will be disappointed to hear that I plan on getting tattoos too. (Yeah, they have reasons too.) It won’t change me. It’s not like I will be a different girl at the end of the day.

I will still be Lucy.

 

What is a Name?

What is a name?

A way to identify oneself? A way for others to identify a certain person?

If that is true, why is it that I do not identify myself as “Lucy” yet?

I hear that name often. I write that name often.

But when I think of myself, that name “Lucy”, does not pop up.

It reminds me on that one time, long ago.

My family and I were watching a Lucille Ball documentary. Throughout the whole film I kept on hearing Lucy, but forgetting that I am also Lucy. I was named after Lucille Ball since my parents loved the show. I even came to love shows and movies she was in too.

Back to the point… Sorry for the random tangents…

What is the point again?

I can’t sleep and I keep thinking of weird things as I try to sleep.

To be truthful I still cannot believe I was given such a beautiful name. Lucy means light.

I will figure out why I was given this name, and give it a good meaning.

I had so much planned out for this, but my mind drifts off quickly. I was going to mention URL names and other identifications, but then Lucille Ball happened… Shows how messy my mind can be at night..